So here are this season’s hopefuls in order of their capacity to create fear, or (looking on the bright side) to cure minor infestations of intestinal worms. As I mentioned the other day, we’ve dropped Pearls and Jalapenos off the list because even in last year’s sunshine they didn’t get all that hot.
- Hungarian Hot Wax – 1,500 – 15,000 SHU
- F1 Apache – 70,000 – 80,000 SHU
- F1 Romital – 100,000 – 150,000 SHU
- Habanero – 100,000 – 350,000 SHU
- Bhut Jolokia – 1,000,000+ SHU
This, naturally, is a high risk strategy because knowing as little as I do about growing chillies the deficiency in heat could be down to a corresponding deficiency in the allotmenteer and next season could lead to heat and generosity on an epic scale as I’ll need to give them all away. All I know is that I was quite comfortable eating the F1 Apaches straight off the plants. But chillies seem to have become a bit of a man thing with its own secret lore and language, a bit like carp fishing I suppose. I don’t doubt that there are secret chilli clubs where seed is exchanged under vows of secrecy and feed is prepared on the night of the full moon using bats’ blood and Cornish seaweed – only Cornish will do it, they say.
I have not yet told Madame about my plan and since she only reads this blog infrequently I’ll wait for the loud “WHAT???” Meanwhile news from an old friend in Tasmania who says he’s pretty sure they’ve suffered the hottest weather since records began. The photo he sent showed his house surrounded by smoke from bush fires and although he says they’re in no danger it must be a worry. He asked if it was making news here in the UK? Well yes it is, but I’m not sure it’s being connected to climate change. This week we’ve heard about unprecedented ice melt in Greenland – am I worried? I most certainly am, almost as worried as I am about the world leaders who are doing nothing about it. Do they imagine their wealth will go on protecting them when the crops fail and the mass migrations away from the flooded coasts take place?