As winter approaches do you:
- Order sufficient cloches and fleece to protect your crops?
- Resolve to do it sometime soon, honestly?
- Yawn and pour yourself another drink?
The Met Office issues a frost warning for your area. Do you:
- Cover your tender plants with fleece?
- Tell yourself you’ve had enough of experts?
- Reproach your head gardener for bothering you with trivial stuff like frosts?
The prediction of frost fails to materialise. Do you:
- Leave the frost protection in place until the second week in May?
- Take it off because weather forecasts are rubbish?
- Sell the fleece at a loss in a car boot sale and buy a cigar?
The frost comes again several days later and you lose all your plants. Do you:
- Replant with the spares you sowed weeks previously?
- Attempt to get some more and find the website is overloaded?
- Wait until it’s dark and steal them off your neighbour?
The force is with you and you have a surplus of replacement plants after the frost. Do you:
- Give them to your unfortunate neighbours, hoping that they’d have done the same for you?
- Chuck them on the compost because you don’t need them?
- Attempt to sell them at grossly inflated prices?
A score of 5 makes you a confounded Trotskyite who should be horsewhipped
A score of 15 suggests you should start preparing yourself for higher office at once.
Happy allotmenteering!